Grayfawn Speaks: A Heartless Mate

Author: Silver
Status: Finished
Allegiances: None
Preceding: None
Succeeding: None
Spellcheckers: None
Grayfawn narrates this wonderful story in which she has to suffer not being able to stay with Hawkfrost forever, then having to stand and watch him do everything but visit her and their new kits.


Hello? Whos' there? Oh, just a couple of kits looking for trouble! Sorry, didn't mean to snap, but kits always bring me fretful memories of my mate. Want to hear the story, do you? Fine.

Chapter 1Edit

I blinked away the sleep from my eyes as I stretched. I prodded Hawkfrost in the side. "Hey, sweetheart, it's time to go. We dozed of in the night." I whispered softly. The cat I loved stirred but didn't wake. I poked him with a claw.

Hawkfrost let out a screech of suprises and leapt back. "Oh, it's only you, Grayfawn." Hawkfrost's icy-blue eyes stared into mine. His gaze warmed me up, even though it was leaf-bare.

"We have to get back to camp." I breathed, suddenly feeling a stabbing pain in the heart. This was the last time Hawkfrost and I could be this close, without letting anyone know we were mates. I was a medicine cat, I couldn't have kits.

"I know." whispered Hawkfrost. I thought I saw a flicker of relief in his eyes, but I must have been imagining things. Hawkfrost began to scatter the makeshift nest we made on the Island. His lean muscles rippled and his tabby coat glistened in the sunlight. I then noticed my fluffy light gray fur was ruffled and untidy. I quickly gave myself a clean and went back to looking at Hawkfrost. My mate. The cat I longed to be with for the rest of my life.

Even though it was an impossible love, I would always love him.

Chapter 2Edit

As we neared the RiverClan camp, I noticed Hawkfrost run swiftly ahead of me. His lean muscles rippling with every stride. I purred. Blackclaw was standing gaurd last night, and the big smoky-black tom was still there.

"Blackclaw," Hawkfrost dipped his head in greeting. Blackclaw seemed astounded at seeing Hawkfrost and I outside so early in the morning.

"That's funny," began Blackclaw, "I didn't see you two come out. Although I did leave to make a quick dirt."

"We probably went out when you were gone."

"And why, may I ask?" Blackclaw set his gaze on me. His amber eyes lurking with suspition.

"We were out collecting herbs." I blurted out, not realizing wer weren't carrying any herbs.

"Not lucky, I see." meowed Blackclaw. The broud-shouldered tom stepped aside, allowing us to cross the stepping stones. I dipped my head in respect as I passed him by. Blackclaw's amber eyes still flickered with curiosity.

"That was a close one." I breathed. Hawkfrost didn't look at me. He didn't show signs he heard me. Oh well.

At sunhigh, I was suddenly feeling quite hungry. My belly growled so loudly, I swear, I thought ThunderClan could here it! My apprentice Tricklepaw was focusing on the herbs she was sorting out. "Tricklepaw, would you mind getting me some fresh-kill?" I asked. Tricklepaw turned her striped head and nodded. The apprentice walked out of the den and came back momentarily with a large silver fish in her jaws.

Chapter 3Edit

Two moons had passed since I slept with Hawkfrost. We have been ignoring each other ever since. We never talked, never looked at each other, or even greeted each other.

Two sunrises ago was the half-moon. I visited StarClan and they brought me news I never expected to hear. I was expecting kits. Now you know that sudden hunger. Tricklepaw was a good friend and I told her. The tabby apprentice vowed never to tell a soul. I know she can be trusted with that kind of secrete. Why you ask? Well, that's another story for another time. Anywho....

My belly was full of kits and they were to be born anyday now. I told Hawkfrost but he didn't seem the least bit excited. Suddenly, I felt a sudden pain and I knew I was about to give birth. I told Tricklepaw and the apprentice began to get all the neseccery herbs. We treked off towards horseplace and found a huge hole at the bottom of a large tree. I crept inside and lay down on the softest soil I could find. My contractions began and I would cunvulse every few minutes.

After about an hour of suffering, I have birth to four new kits. Tricklepaw and I began to lick them warm. One of them didn't move. I poked it softly and licked it again and again, but the kit didn't react. I knew this was punishment. I asked Tricklepaw to bury the kit just outside it's birthplace.

I looked back at my three remaining kits. All of them were beautiful. The largest one was a light ginger she-cat with white paws. The second one was a replica of his father. The smallest one was a white she-cat. I wrapped my kits tight against me and began to tear up. I had to leave these preciouse darlings with another cat.

"What will you name them?" asked Tricklepaw as she came in. I thought for the best names possible, after all, they were Hawkfrost's kits.

"The ginger one will be Honeykit. The one that looks like Hawkfrost will be Mothkit, and the last one will be Whitekit."

"Beautiful." mewed Tricklepaw.

Chapter 4Edit

I crept back into camp with Tricklepaw behind me. I made my way to the nursery, where my sister, Mistyfur, was waiting. Yes, she knew the secret too. Her kits were born a moon earlier. "Come, come." mewed Mistyfur. I went inside and settled my kits with her's.

"They are beautiful, Grayfawn!" she mewed as she nuzzled my kits.

"Thanks." I couldn't have been more proud to bear these kits, but then again, they were forbidden.

"I spoke with Hawkfrost and he says he'll admit they are his but won't say who the mother is." whispered Mistyfur. I nodded and pressed my muzzle into her fluffy white fur.

"Thanks." I breathed.

Chapter 5Edit

Six moons went by and I happily watched my kits grow into fine apprentices alongside Mistyfur's kits.

Hawkfrost would never come by the nursery and speak to them. Honeykit, Mothkit, and Whitkit, now all paws, barley knew Hawkfrost as a father, but a simple RiverClan warrior. Hawkfrost never spoke to me and would never gaze into my eyes. I missed his warm gaze and the soft touch of his fur. I tried in vain to speak to him, but there was never the chance. Tricklepaw, now Tricklepelt, never spoke of the secrete. Nor did Mistyfur.

Everything went on as usual. I now thought of Hawkfrost as a heartless mate and father.

Epilogue (three moons later)Edit

After three moons of watching my kits grow, I went out with Tricklepelt to the Thunderpath in search of catmint. I was about to cross it when out of the mist a monster appeared and struck me hard. I was hurdled through the air and landed with a large thump. I took one last gasp of air and died. Tricklepelt became full medicine cat of RiverClan. Hawkfrost still didn't do anything. He didn't even mourn for me.

Mistyfur, Honeypaw, Mothpaw, and Whitepaw all mourned. I was glad my kits were able to press against my gray body, which Tricklepelt had dragged back franticly.

I still will love Hawkfrost, even though he didn't respond for me or the kits. He'll still be in my heart, however cold his is. I'll love him till the world ends.

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