User blog:Rowanfall/I'm in a deep mood, so....

I'm in a deep mood and I felt like talking. Well, it's not talking, but you know what I mean. Typing.

I threw out my old blanket today and it got me thinking. If that blanket had feelings, what would it feel? It was being discarded because it was of no use anymore, would it feel rejected, angry, sad, dissapointed, or let down? Or could it possibly be happy? I never used it anymore, it just lay at the foot of my bed, gathering dust. Maybe it wanted a change of scenery. But how could a dump be better scenery? Maybe it was expecting another person to curl up under it at night, to need it, to love it, instead of a dark and smelly tomb. should I have given it to chairty? Or, assuming it felt rejected or angry, would it feel rejected because I replaced it with a new fluffy comforter? Would it be angry because I was just tossing it aside? What if that's how humans sometimes act to each other? Leaving someone behind, forgetting them, just because they weren't as beautiful as they once were, or weren't the same person they had met? I had had that blanket that blanket for five years- since I moved into the Trailer park where I live now. We had lost so many of our blankets in the move that my mother had gone out to buy everyone blankets, and she had choosen to buy me a beautiful, sky blue, fluffy blanket. It was so comfortable, so warm, so.. wonderful. But now, it's dirty, it's bene through the laundry so many times that it's not fluffy anymore, and it feels rough now. I made it dirty. I made it rough and took away its fluff by washing it. I changed that blanket to make it worse, then I discarded him. How terrible would I seem to that blanket. Would I seem like cruel, evil, tyrant? Would I seem like the main antagonist of its life?

And while I was thinking about all that, I wondered if anyone saw me as just that- a cruel person. Could I be doing things that offended people, but they were too shy to tell me? Too nice? Too kind? That made me remember when my old friend, Bebea (nickname, not real name), exploded at me. She said that I had ignored her, that I wasn't her friend anymore because I had been paying more attention to my other friends, my newer friends. And I hadn't noticed a thing. How do people expect us to notice our flaws and fix them without them telling us what they are? Bebea wouldn't speak to me for such a long time, and that created a domino effect. She convinced so many of my other friends to stop talking to me- Aresa, Hannah, Joey, and three others. It made me feel terrible, that I only had three friends left who would look me in the eyes. Then I felt angry, and I exploded back at Bebea. I actually punched her (outside of school, thank StarClan) and screamed at her for so long. In the end, we apoligized and the whole situation faded away, but the memory of how Bebea had seen me as such an evil, cruel person who would just forget her stayed. How could she have thought me so evil when I thought I had been so nice?

All this thought was getting me nowhere, so I fixed my mind on something else. I brought myself back to the present and searched for soemthing else to exercize my deep-thought mood. I found a passing black truck. It made me think of something I had heard earlier that day. On my mother's way home from work, she someone followed her. It freaked her out, and, so as not to lead him to her house with her four children, she shook him off on some contry roads. but that made me think- what if he had found a way to our house? what if he was a murderer? He would be able to sneak right in and kill our whole family while we were sleeping. That scared me. We could all die at any moment, and not being expecting it. A Solar flare, the sun could explode, a nuclear bomb could be dropped, we could accidentally step on a land mine, a random murderer in a fast food shop could poison your food, you could ge bitten by a rabid mouse and not realise it, you could get shot by a drunk guy, you could get shot by a sober guy, you could get run over by a drunk driver, a plane could crash into your house, and oh so many more possiblites. Would it be better to know you're going to die or would you rather not see it coming?

Then my mother cmae out to interupt my deep thinking and asked, "Rowan, why are you standing out on the porch? It's going to rain." So I went inside, wrote this blog post, and now I'm going to replay Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Blue Rescue Team.

I doubt anybody is actually going to read this long-winded blog post, so, if you don't want to read the whole thing but you still want to comment, here's a few questions you give your opinion on: So, comments? (ten points to anyone who actually read all that o.o longest blog post ever....) Rowan fall "You see?You see what comes of battle?" 04:35, April 29, 2012 (UTC)
 * Could someone think you're a cruel person and you not know?
 * Would it be better to die without knowing your going to die or it coming by surprise?
 * Topic: Tossing things aside when they're old and not of use anymore.