Fool to Think

Original artist: Dave Matthews Band

Characters
 * Liontail - ginger tom.
 * Sunspot - ginger spotted she-cat, deputy.
 * Thornfur - golden-brown tabby tom.

This story/songfic is about two cats that fall in love, but one has some crazy conditions for the other.

I wrote this because I feel as if this happens a lot. Two animals/people fall in love and one asks a little bit too much from the other. This is the case of Liontail, a rogue wandering in ThunderClan territory.

Sunspot may be willing to give this to Liontail, but she has a large Clan behind her.

Some history: Sunspot is the deputy of ThunderClan. She finds Liontail hurt by another cat (and shunned by his former Clan) and heals him secretly with her sister's herbs. Sometime while this is going on, the two fall in love. Liontail is looking for a place to settle down at that time, and he thinks what a wonderful place a Clan could be, now that he doesn't have one to live in. The cats there could support him and he could fight and act as if he were accepted. But Sunspot gets nervous, because she loves Liontail, but he's a rogue. So she finds a solution, one that hurts everyone around her but one cat.

Look at me dreaming of you

All I could hope is to have you

To have you walking with me

Laughing so in love, we two

Almost drunkenly

I did imbibe of this

Fantasy of you and me


 * I twitched awake, imagining the pain was still there. The pain of the fight and the pain of the loss. He had beat me, and I was gone. He was treasured in her gaze now, not me.


 * For the first day, the pain was replaced by something new: the thorns of betrayal. Literally.


 * She didn't love me. She wanted me to be better, but... I didn't walk in her dreams like she did in mine.


 * I wished for the old pain. That was preventable. This pain was a hole in my heart, in my soul.


 * Come back! I screeched in my head, staring at the stars.


 * And, as if she heard me, she came...

Was I a fool to think?

The way you looked at me

I swear you did

But you looked away too quick

Was I a fool, was I a fool to think

That you would take me home

As if I was yours

Was I a fool to think at all?


 * She was talking with the traitor. Or, he was talking with the traitor. I stood and watched as they touched noses, eyes glittering, and he left.


 * She told me, quietly, how she wanted to help, but she was staring at her paws. She told me how bad rogues were, how hard it would be for her, how Thornfur was always there for her.


 * I responded with a barbed tongue, saying that I was always waiting in the same place. I never left to get food or water. I begged for her to take me to her home with her, how bad could it be?


 * She only shook her head at me and padded away, her tail waving what her words could not express: Goodbye.

I've grown tired of love

You are the trouble with me

I watch you walk right by

I smile, you do not notice me

Treat me recklessly

All you do is toss me pennies out

But the silence in me is screaming

Won't you come and get me?


 * For the next moon, I stalked every group of cats that emerged from the camp. It wasn't enough that she brought me food every day and left, often going to find Thornfur.


 * But, finally, there were whispers, whispers, of further betrayal, one I could understand.


 * She emerged from the camp, finally, alone, her eyes darkened and sad. She didn't seem surprised to see me, but she seemed sadder.


 * I only whispered the words forbidden to me, ones that I never hoped to ask. What's wrong?


 * She told me how he had left her. A moon of happiness and discovery between the two, and then right after she had discovered that she was to have kits, he had left her and the Clan.


 * I could find no words to comfort her, but then she asked the words I'd been hoping to hear for a while now: Will you join ThunderClan to be a father to these kits?

You make a mess of me here

I'd dance a thousand steps for you

And if you say yes to me

I'll be whatever gets you through


 * Oh, they weren't mine, but I treated them as if they were. Fatherly pride surged through me at every one of their accomplishments.


 * We eventually had kits of our own. They were just as beautiful as his, in my opinion. All of them resembled her or him. His strength, her intellegence, her kindness. His stubborness. Her inability to see through others.


 * We never spoke of what had happened between us and him, but the reminder was there: the kits, and our broken hearts.