Dovewing and Tigerheart

 I’m so glad you made time to see me 

 How’s life, tell me ‘bout you family 

 I haven’t seen them in a while 

Dovewing ducked her head as she made her way through the Gathering. The full moon shone above her as she dodged her way past her clanmates, desperate to get into the trees. A pair of amber eyes bored into her. Tigerheart.

  You’ve been good, busier than ever

 We small talk, work and the weather 

 Your guard is up and I know why 

“Hello, Dovewing,” he mewed awkwardly. Dovewing stared down at her paws.

“Hi, Tigerheart,” she replied quietly. “How’s the prey running?”

“Good thanks.” Tigerheart flicked his tail anxiously. “The cold has everyone down though. But newleaf is coming, thank StarClan.”

  Because the last time you saw me still burned in the back of your mind

 You gave me roses and I left them there to die 

Dovewing’s mind helplessly rushed back to the beautiful snowy days, where she and Tigerheart pranced around. All her anxieties and worries disappeared when she was with him. She hadn’t felt like that since Lionblaze and Jayfeather told her that she was part of the Three. A purr almost rumbled in her throat as she reminisced about when Tigerheart had fallen into a huge snowdrift. What I would give to feel like that again. She shook her head sadly. I can’t go back.

'''

 So this is me swallowing my pride'''

 Standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night 

 And I go back to December all the time 

I’m sorry. Dovewing swallowed the lump in her throat, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. I can’t, she thought. He’s not mine anymore.

''

“I didn’t mean it like that,” mewed Tigerheart. He suddenly looked so sad, and scared. “I just-” Dovewing didn’t care. She didn’t want to listen anymore.''

''“I think you did,” she whispered sadly. “I think that’s exactly what you meant.” ''

'

 Turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you'

 Wishing I’d realized what I had when you were mine 

 And I go back to December, turn around and make it all right 

 I go back to December all the time 

Dovewing pushed the last of the memories out of her head and turned back to Tigerheart “Bye,” she whispered before walking away. She could feel the pain radiating off his dark tabby pelt, but she forced herself to ignore it as she joined her clanmates for the trip home.

  These days, I haven’t been sleeping

 Staying up playing back myself leaving 

 When your birthday passed and I didn’t call 

''Dovepaw sat miserably in camp. Ivypaw was sleeping soundly in her nest. She hadn’t been harmed by the ShadowClan cats, and they willingly gave her up in exchange for the catmint. “Sandstorm might die,” murmured Dovewing. “It’s all my fault. Why am I so stupid? I should’ve known that Tigerheart was just using me.” Ivypaw started to kick and thrash and Dovepaw’s head snapped up. What were they doing to her? Coughing and sputtering, her deep blue eyes opened and she sat up, a terrified look on her face.''

''“Ivypaw?” Dovepaw rushed up to her sister’s nest, her eyes wide with fear. ''

''“Oh, hi,” she rasped. “How was the Gathering?” ''

''“Can I ask you something?” Dovepaw whispered. “Tell me about Tigerheart again. Is he really training in the 'Dark' 'Forest'?” ''

''“Yes,” mewed Ivypaw sadly. “I’m sorry.” ''

''“Don’t be,” Dovepaw replied. “I don’t think he ever loved me…” ''

  Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times

 I watched you laughing from the passenger side 

 And realized I loved you in the fall 

Memories of fighting beavers with Tigerheart flashed through Dovewing’s dreams. He had been so brave…and always so good humored. She could just imagine him, jumping up from the water and launching himself at the dam. Dovewing had never seen any cat so fearless in her life.

"Tigerheart, are you okay?” called Lionblaze.

''“No, I’m furious! I’d like to turn every one of those beavers into fresh-kill!” ''

''“He’s okay,” Dovepaw murmured. ''

  And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind

 You gave me all my love and all I gave you was…goodbye 

Dovewing turned her back and put her head down. Tigerheart isn’t part of me anymore.

  I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile

 So good to me, so right 

 And how you held me in your arms that September night 

 The first time you ever saw me cry 

''Dovepaw started to flee the camp. It was all too much. Sandstorm and Cherrykit were sick, and who knew where Ivypaw was? She probably didn’t want to see her anyway.''

''“Tigerheart!” she called. The dark tabby turned around. His amber eyes shone as she ran towards him. ''

''“Hi,” he whispered as she buried her muzzle into his flank. “It’s good to see you.” Dovepaw didn’t reply. She cherished the moment of peace, away from all her clanmates and problems. ''

  Maybe this is wishful thinking

Dovewing shut her eyes and tried to block out all the memories. I…miss…you…so…much…

  Probably mindless dreaming

''What was I thinking? He’s a ShadowClan cat. We could never gave been together, whether he loved me or not.''

  But if we loved again, I swear I’d love you right.

 I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t 

 So if the chain is on your door, I understand 

Dovewing collapsed in her nest, uncontrollable pain searing through her mind. Tigerheart! She wanted to scream. I need you! She felt the pain dulling as she drifted into sleep.

  So this is me swallowing my pride

 Standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night 

 And I go back to December, turn around and make all right 

 I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind 

The sun shone through the apprentice den as Dovewing stepped out into the clearing.

“Is everything okay, Dovewing?” asked Bumblestripe, running up to her. “You don’t look very well.” Dovewing cast her senses out to ShadowClan. Tigerheart was sharing tongues with his clanmates, but Dovewing could see he was sad. Is it because of me? She turned back to Bumblestripe. “I’m fine,” she mewed softly. “Don’t worry about it.” She turned around and ran into her forest. Tigerheart… Standing on the ShadowClan border, she could almost smell him. If only… Dovewing turned back to the forest and slowly trudged back to camp.

'''

 I go back to December all the time…'''