User blog:Shadewing/Read This, Please

I need a break.

I dont know how long. As long as it takes for me to get rid of my frustration.

I tried. I tried so hard to help here. I tried to bring P:C back on its feet, tried to work efficiently for the good of this wiki and its user, and just recently I have tried to help out in P:SC. I have been ignored every time.

Now, if you think I'm angry that I wasn't picked as leader of P:SC, belive me, you are wrong. I'm happy for Grace, because she did deserve more than I did. That's the truth.

And don't give me any sympathy. I don't deserve it. All I wanted was for someone to realize that I was working hard. Because I did, and I am not bragging or boasting. I merely am stating the truth. I wasn't very social, I didn't really engage in chat or talk page conversations or IRC. I know that's my own fault that I didn't try harder to grow closer to you. But I did try, just not as much as some do.

Don't be angry with me, please, because I am not angry with any of you. I am just angry with how this place has been running these days. Skye, Night, all of the admins are fabulous, and I know that they try hard and they work hard when they can come on, and I applaud them for that.

I just thought someone would care for more than all of these contests and social events. That someone would care about, say, improving stories? I'm sorry if I sound like a workaholic, because I am not one, but, isn't that what this place was made for? Charart and fanfiction, and working to improve our own skills and help others? You are all helpful, kind, wonderful people, don't get me wrong, but, where is there any benefit in all of this social activity? I'm not trying to promote P:C, P:I, P:SC, or myself. I'm just making a statement.

I love you all. I care about you all. I don't deserve friends like you. But I just wish someone would understand, someone would listen, someone would care too.

I could be gone for three days, three weeks, even three months. I don't know. As long as it takes for me to get it out of me.

Guys, I hate writing this, but, I've reached boiling point.

I am not angry with any of you, nor am I saying that you are not good people. I'm just saying this wiki is sloping downward, just a little.

Goodbye. God Bless you all.

20:52, August 4, 2012 (UTC) Shadewing